Saturday, June 5, 2010

He's a Stud, She's a Slut

He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know
By Jessica Valenti

I've had this book on my list of books to read since at least last year and I finally got around to reading it (mostly while sitting on a hard, wooden bench while Chad and Jordan rode rides at Great America).  I wouldn't necessarily consider myself an outspoken feminist, but I am proud to be a woman and there are some things that really bother me.  This book is full of double standards evident in society today when it comes to men and women.  The title refers to the fact that if a guy sleeps with lots of women he's considered a stud, while a woman can sleep with lots of men - or not even - just have the reputation as dating lots of men and she is labeled a slut.  It was interesting to read about how many double standards there are that I kind of overlook.  

One that I have realized now that I am raising Jordan has to do with the gender-biased toys.  Jordan hangs out with lots of girls at daycare all day so he knows all of the Disney princesses and has seen pretty much all of their movies.  When given a chance he would much rather play with trains and trucks but he does like all kinds of toys.  He likes imagining and making food and I considered getting him a microwave for Christmas (because we have no room for an entire kitchen setup) but a certain French store I visited only had pink microwaves.  Hmm...what kind of message is that sending our girls?  Hate.

The other thing that really drives me crazy is that boys are supposed to be all tough, and then if they're not, there are those like-nails-on-a-chalkboard comments that refer to boys as being weak like girls: "Don't be such a girl," "You're such a sissy," (or insert another such words I soooo hate).  And here's one that drives me insane: "Don't be such a Sally...or Mary."  It's so not cool to be a girl.  What about girls who want to play sports or play in the dirt or like dinosaurs - oh, they're tomboys and that's really not all that big of a deal.  Extra-hate.

I'm proud to be a strong, opinionated woman.  I'm a mom and I love it.  I'm a wife and I love it.  I have a college degree and post-graduate degree and a career and I love it.  I'm a woman and I love it!

What do you think about the state of women in our country?  Have you experienced any of these or other double standards?  Please, share!

4 comments:

Marc G. said...

I know Kathy wanted to get Maddy some dinosaur themed clothes, but they were all for boys. So, Kathy made a pink t-shirt and silk screened on a green dinosaur.

The stud/slut paradox has always bothered me. Sex and sexuality in our country is such a taboo and messed up topic. Why should it be "bad" for someone to enjoy intimacy? Kathy and I are always amazed at how violence is so much more acceptable than sex when it comes to TV and movies. Sex is natural. Love is part of everyone's life. Guns? Not so much. Stupid double standard there.

Laraf123 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

This sounds so interesting. I may have to pick this book up.

I haven't ever thought about when someone calls a boy a girl being an insult to woman. What an interesting perspective.

What I think is sad is that women staying home to be mother's isn't valued anymore. Some days I feel like I work just as hard as MIke at the hospital, but I know the world wouldn't ever see it that way. Women do so much for their kids and I think that can be under appreciated.

Kathy Lou said...

Why do women have to wear swimsuits that show all the junk in their trunk while guys wear suits down to their knees? I am at the age where I would prefer a wee bit more modesty in my swimsuit. I really don't want to let it all hang out. (never did, really)